4th of July - final part. Sting.

Skip...skip...skip to that rainy evening.

I could have writen some long, heartfelt story here, a story to melt even the most frozen souls, but there's no point.

We stopped the car in front of your folks house and I said: "Let' s stay here for 5 more minutes before we go upstairs."

It was raining.

The sea was a few feet away.

And then you said: "Here, listen to this song."

You turned on the player and put Practical Arrangement by Sting.

I didn't know the song.

I was blowing the smoke outside and watched the rain drops on the windshield while listening to the lyrics.

I wish with all my heart I could feel anything.

But I didn't.

You know I didn't.

And you didn't either.

How I know this? 

Easy.

I turned over and looked at you, but you were looking outside the window.

I had the feeling this was not the first time you played this song for someone.

I felt it.

Women feel stuff, mr. Love Doctor.

Women feel. You can't fake it.

If it were anything true, you would have looked in my eyes.

Many times.

Many, many times.

But you didn't.

I asked you: "Honey, are you ok?" 

"Yeah, you said, I'm just a bit melancholic from the wine" still looking away.

That was your answer.

I wish with all my heart I would have felt anything. But I didn't.

Something inside of me was whispering how the future would turn out, and that "something" was right.

As I said, I would never have the courage to say any of it to your face, so read closely the next lines: the only time I felt totally calm and at peace with us was the night I took you to my place because you forgot your keys in the mall.

You fell asleep right away in the small bed in my room.

I let you sleep there because I knew how exhausting can be to work long hours with the public and I went to bed in my sister's room.

When I got into the bathroom to take my makeup off was the ONLY time I could breath at ease because I knew you were in the safest place on Earth, in my room.

I can't describe the silence, the bliss and the peace I felt that evening.

However I wished you would wake up and come next to me.

But you didn't.

The next morning was the last day of summer and the last time I ever saw you.

So... how could I have allowed myself to feel anything when IT'S REALLY SO IMPLAUSIBLE?

Please try wining the women who will pass through your life with other songs.
Be creative.

I wish you well.

I will miss you.